She's That Founder: Business Strategy, Time Management and AI Magic for Impactful Female Leaders

070 | Why Giving Feedback Isn't Mean, It Makes You a Great Leader

• Dawn Andrews • Season 2 • Episode 70

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If giving feedback makes you feel like the bad guy… let me ask you this: when was the last time silence got you the result you actually wanted?

In this quick hit, I’m sharing the story of a client who learned—painfully—that staying quiet to “protect” someone’s feelings can backfire in a big way. And I get it. You built your business on excellence and empathy. But here’s the truth: silence isn’t empathy. It’s sabotage.

I’m here to help you shift your mindset, drop the guilt, and stop cleaning up everyone else’s messes. Because when you avoid feedback, you’re not being kind, you’re avoiding discomfort. And that’s not leadership. That’s self-preservation in a really nice blazer. So if you’re ready to lead with clarity (not chaos), hit play. This one’s short, sharp, and straight to the point.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • Why silence in leadership isn’t empathy — it’s sabotage.
  • How delaying feedback erodes trust more than delivering it ever could.
  • A flashlight vs. flamethrower mindset shift that will change the way you lead.
  • The surprising truth about what your team really needs from you (hint: not approval).
  • How speaking up—awkward or not—builds the kind of respect that lasts.

This episode at a glance:

[2:32] - It wasn’t the truth that hurt her employee. It was the delay in giving it that did.

[3:03] -  Think of feedback like the flashlight, not the flamethrower.

[3:24] - Your team doesn’t need your approval. They need your calibration.

[3:51] - That’s the difference between being liked and being respected.

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

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Dawn Andrews:

If you think giving feedback makes you the bad guy or bad girl, let me ask you this, when was the last time silence got you the results you actually wanted? Welcome to she's that founder. Business Strategy and time management for female founders with a little magic from Ai. This is the no fluff corner of the internet for bold women building big things. I'm your host, Dawn Andrews, and this quick hit is your hot shot of truth, clarity, or just a loving shove in the right direction today. Welcome to my lazy Sunday. Let's get into it. So feedback, giving it, not giving it, delaying giving it, you're not wrong to care. You built your business and your reputation on excellence and empathy. But let's be clear, silence isn't empathy, it's sabotage. Let me tell you about one of my clients, and as you know, I always change the name of my clients to protect their privacy. So one of my clients is an entertainment business manager running a multi seven figure firm. Her junior associate had promise, smart, eager, charismatic with clients, but the details sloppy, missed signatures, calendar errors, client asks that got buried in 17 different email threads. Just really disorganized, and instead of addressing it head on, she just kept cleaning up behind him quietly. She'd redo the prep docs before meetings, resend contracts to herself, because she didn't want to bruise his confidence, because he was still learning until the day, a high profile client spotted an error she missed. She had no safety net with her employee, and the employee didn't really have a safety net with her because she couldn't hold it all. She missed it, and it cost them a big deal. The client said, I thought you had this under control, right? Like that's absolutely the last thing you want to hear, especially when you've been trying so desperately to hold everything together. So she finally had the talk. It was an overdue, emotionally loaded performance review that shocked the associate. They thought everything was fine. In fact, they thought they were doing really well. But here's the thing, it wasn't the truth that hurt her employee. It was the delay in giving it that did because when you avoid feedback to protect someone's feelings. You're not really protecting them. You're protecting yourself from the discomfort. And that's not leadership. That's self preservation in a fancy blazer and nice blouse. Giving feedback isn't mean y'all. It's what makes you a respected, trusted, bulletproof CEO. So here's a little mindset tweak that changes everything. Think of feedback like the flashlight, not the flamethrower. Feedback shows the way forward. It doesn't scorch the earth. You don't need to yell, you don't need to shame. You need to shine a light when someone's veering off course, say it when someone's dialed in, name it. Your team doesn't need your approval. They need your calibration, and if you don't provide it, they'll guess and they'll guess wrong. This isn't about being perfect with your words. It's about being present with your leadership, because when you do your team actually gets better and you get to lead instead of constantly cleaning up. So please stop thinking that feedback is a confrontation. Start seeing it as a contribution. That's the difference between being liked and being respected, right? And if you want to be a respected CEO, you got to speak up, even when it's awkward. Told you it was a short and sharp, quick hit, and if this hits home for you, don't just nod. Don't just say yes. Don't just save this episode. Do something about it. Subscribe to our future of leadership newsletter on LinkedIn, weekly strategies, stories and tools, including AI tools to help you lead without losing your mind. Now, go, be that founder, and I'll see you next time you.